Unexpected Empty Nest 101

Our unhealthy family was co-existing in an increasingly volatile environment for about a year.  Everyone was frustrated, sick and tired.  No counseling, therapy or family meetings would make a difference.  As long as we were drinking and our son was drugging, there wasn't a point.

When things came to a head one morning (four months ago) our son ran out the front door only to never come back to live.  He has visited the house two times since then, but lives with his half-brother who is 11 years older than he.  Since his departure, we've all cleaned up.  He us abstaining and in therapy (as far as we know).  His father and I are in therapy and recovery by attending 12 step meetings.

As parents, one of our biggest and least expected issues is that of being empty-nesters.  For me, it was initially unbearable not have my son at home; no matter how impossible it had become.  The prospect of "losing" him was more than I could bear.  I bottomed out.  However, had it not been for hitting that bottom, I wouldn't be in recovery now.  Everything really does happen for a reason!

Being sober, properly medicated and in recovery leaves me eager to explore this new chapter in my life.  This journey is bittersweet, but has seemingly endless possibilities.  Although my options are somewhat limited due to financial instability, my heart and  soul feel liberated.  I am looking at myself not as a mother or a wife, but as an individual with specific talents, abilities, likes and dislikes.  My ambition is no longer about what I can do for others so much as it is about personal growth and what I can do to contribute to others.

I was born an artist.  Now, I intend to pay full attention to that part of my soul.  An opportunity was presented to me in which self-sufficient people with behavioral health issues (Bipolar II being mine) can use a warehouse and art supplies, for a monthly nominal fee.  The goal is to create, share and recover through art.
It's so important for us, as empty-nesters, to tap into a true heart-felt interest and/or talent so that we can connect with like-minded people.   When we are feeling pushed aside and less needed by our children, it is time for us to feed and foster the child in ourselves that has been neglected for so long.

It's not unusual for me to want to migrate back into major mothering mode.  As God would have it, my child reminds me this is not wanted or needed.  It hurts at first, but pushes me back into the direction I belong.  As time goes on, I imagine the pain lessens more and more until I automatically remain where I belong most of the time; with me.