If you are like us and have pets, they are part of the family. We "humanize" them. Our first born, Moose, is a three year old 145-150 lb Rhodesian Ridgeback. The poor boy is so big that when he sits on the couch, he rolls way back on his rump exposing his Buddha belly. This is what we call "people boy" because he looks like a fat person sitting on a piece of furniture.
He isn't the peppiest of pups because of that huge body he has to lug around. So some of his friskiest moments are on his side or back as he's waking up at the foot of our bed. This is when he's playing his "reindeer games". Then there is the scent of such a large beast. When he is in need of a bath, we say he "needs to change his boxers". Fortunately, he steps right into the shower for me. But I have to get in with him because he's much too large to reach around from outside of the tub. Bath time includes plenty of singing to keep him relaxed. From the outside looking in, we'd probably look suspect.
It would be remiss of me not to mention something from his puppy-hood. When he was little and in training classes, he had quite the reputation. He had issues with self-control. For instance, every night around 8pm was his bewitching hour. He'd terrorize the house with reckless abandon and we didn't know what to do to stop him. The trainer decided to teach us how to "settle" Moose and show him who is boss. This called for restraining him. When the trainer restrained Moose for the first time, he sprayed, squealed and cried so loud that everyone in Petsmart came running to see what the ruckus was all about. But this technique worked! As a matter of fact, it worked so well it put him to sleep. He slept through most of training classes from that point on.
Our next born is Leo. He might as well be a Siamese fighting fish; the Betta which needs a lot of space and does well alone in a bowl. Leo is the smallest of our three, so he is now the loudest and meanest in order to exercise an attempt at dominance. It's futile and annoyingly loud. He was a cute puppy with wiry terrier fur and a sweet demeanor. Now, his fur resembles a dirty mop. His saving grace is large black, button eyes. Because of him, we've coined a new greeting: "Allo, Buttons!" (must be done with an English accent).
At six weeks of age and against all odds, Leo survived Paarvo. This little guy is a fighter. However, his sharp bark, constant whining and growling at our other dogs has kept us from completely adoring him.
Our youngest dog is Ozzy the Pit Bull / Boxer mix. He's entertaining beyond measure. Talk about Tasmanian Devil moments! This dog tears around literally running into and bouncing off of walls. Oddly, his preferred method of snout-to-snout combat is through a blanket. He also has telepathy when it comes to us leaving the house. Before we even touch the car keys, he's on us about coming along in the car.
Ozzy loves water whether it's in the pool or a bathtub. He chases balls in the pool, but loves blowing bubbles in the water just as much. Our pool is half-drained at the moment so it's not uncommon to find Ozzy on the first step staring down into the water wondering where it all went. When he's on the step and you are watching from a distance, his tail resembles a submarine periscope going back and forth the length of the step. I watched the periscope doing it's surveillance the other day and suddenly it submerged! All I could think was "yuck". The remaining pool water is green. As I approached, though, I saw the reason for this insane behavior. There was a yellow ping pong pool floating just out of reach of the step. It had to be "got"; and so it was. That water was 36 degrees!
One last thing I'll share about Ozzy (and I could go on forever) it that he adores lazing around and looking at things upside-down.
Of course there are the pet "nicknames". Moopers, Weewee, WeePants, BabyBoy, BabisBoy, PeopleBoy, Buttons, Poopooz botts, and many more; a couple not suitable for print.
But the bottom line is, as crazy as these pets and their shenanigans are, they keep their owner's sane.
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